I’ve been wondering for an age about how to phrase this post. Because the thing is, it’s so hard to generally find TRUE authenticity online any more. It’s now a massively overused marketing term, and frankly if you, or I or any of us are just writing pretty words on a page or spouting out useless motivational garbage from instagram on a livestream with no real substance to it… people are soon, if they aren’t already, going to start switching off because it’s like the world has become one big sales pitch.
Me too, sometimes. Often, maybe. I look at my own front page of me doing yoga on the beach and I know that while YES 100% this IS my favourite beach on the island YES the weather is pretty much always like that and YES I do yoga.. often…
It doesn’t show the rest.
It doesn’t show how I limped out of the splits because I didn’t warm up properly, or how I didn’t want my amazing photographer taking photos of me in another pose because I just couldn’t hold it.
And I don’t want to write about imperfection being perfection any more either, because that’s also one big massive cliche. I don’t want to hear how ‘that’s part of the journey’.
No, jumping into splits when not warmed up purely for a photo is not part of the journey, it’s just entirely stupid vanity and you’d think I’d have learned that back when I was a dancer and snapped my hamstring doing the exact same thing, but apparently not.
We keep learning the lessons until we learn what they really mean- when I was at photography school I stuck a postcard in my sketchbook and it read ‘ALL I WANT TO SAY IS SOMETHING TRUE’ and I think it was something by some artist or another and that was such a long time ago now and yet more relevant than ever and I’m learning it. I’m feeling it.
Why you still feel a little bit crap and insecure in your life / business… why so often it seems like you’re right on the verge of fading into oblivion on a near-daily basis despite on the surface of things at least, appearing like you’re winning…
It’s because you’re still hiding behind a pretty facade, away from sharing the stuff that could make a REAL difference to people
Because you still think you have to create this beautiful brand and image
And yes maybe beauty, still, quiet, calm beauty or perhaps raw and untamed beauty and cultivating beautiful visions IS you and who you are, perhaps that’s how you live your every day life
But please don’t tell me that your entire every day life is that perfect.
Because you know as well as I do
That to carry on pretending for the sake of attracting clients
Is not just a lie to your followers and your fans and your devotees who are waiting, BEGGING you for something more raw, more real, more relatable…
It’s a lie. And yep, lies sell, to some degree. Any perfume ad will tell you that. But worse – it’s a lie to your very own soul. A lie to your creativity. A lie to your artistry. A lie to your work. A lie to your heart which begs you for more.
And that’s why I share the gritty sometimes –
along with the pretty poses on the beach and my beach life and my island life and I’m going through something right now that is SO messy I can’t even begin to tell you in my personal life but you wouldn’t even believe half of it I don’t think because some days I sure don’t-
And when the time is right I will share the lessons in that too because I can’t not
you can’t not share what you are called to share unless you are planning to keep on suffocating that woman who lives sleeps breathes inside of you, well one day you’re going to have to let her out in one way or another or she will erupt and the fallout – trust me – is not at all pretty
And it’s not for the sake of authenticity that you write or photograph or create, is it?
It’s because you think in words or pictures or visions or dreams and of course, because you are this way, the rare breed,
The ones with the way of the artist
You think so fast that while you’re dreaming of the work you will create, simultaneously of course you’re also thinking about the state of the world, something you just read, and some huge deep thing like how were the stars formed and how we are all made of stardust and how to manifest rainbows at the same time as planning your empire
so of course when you speak –
It’s just what comes out. You’re sharing with the world what’s already there
And also –
It’s what makes us feel connected. To my life, to my work, to myself most importantly and the very second I start filtering it or think that’s too much for my readers- I’m perpetuating the lies and yet
When you are open and vulnerable and honest and YOU- you know, you’re going to get unsubscribes.
One of my long term followers and clients unfollowed me this week and honestly, it hurt- I’m not a robotpreneur.
I made the mistake of hopping over into activecampaign to check on an automation myself and saw it in the unsubscribes, couldn’t resist having a peek even though I get a fair few of them daily now (and good because it just means… those who stick around are your core fans and followers and the rest … they can go find what they need elsewhere) and I won’t lie… this particular client I was gutted about.. not because of the money but because I’d worked with her privately… she’d told me some pretty intimate stuff… and I actually DO give a shiz about my clients, they are never just money to me…
Unsubscribed. And I felt it.
Equally- I had clients message me in response to the same email. In tears. Saying thank you. Saying it touched them and that they had no words and thank you for being so raw and open.
So I didn’t feel it for long. Care about the ones you can help. Because –
You know. Sure, some people are going to follow you just for the basic bones of business or whatever it is you share in your industry. Some people are going to just be the watchers and the hawkers, those who just lurk to see what’s going on. And some people
YOUR people –
Are going to resonate on a deep and true level with you
When you open up and share with them on a deeper and true level.
Guess which comes first.
I don’t want to know what your thoughts are on who you want to be or how you’re making a difference in the world or how great your latest X is blah blah. I mean that’s awesome too.. but what about YOU… what you’ve experienced… isn’t that worth sharing?! Aren’t you beautifully interesting enough to share- without the edits and the filters and the pre-planned updates and the perfectly edited videos?
But really… this was never about you and your followers, or growing your tribe. It’s about you understanding what your deeper purpose really is. And connecting to it.
Because if you were so connected – which is something I’ve realised really recently – you wouldn’t be showing up for them at all.
You’d be showing up for your creativity and your art every single day only ever with the intention of creating and making and being you and living your purpose.
You wouldn’t even need to TELL people what you do, at all!!
Because it would be so damn obvious what you do and what you care about that you wouldn’t ever need to write thinly disguised ‘authentic’ blog posts telling the world what you believe in, or facebook profiles which tell the world how big and great your purpose is.
Because no matter what they say – and trust me I’ve even had quite frankly laughable suggestions online about me from my haters which say I’m only writing about my miscarriage for the money
-which is just one of the funniest / yet very obviously unfunny things to say about somebody because trust me there are a lot easier ways to make money than going to the depths of my soul to be able to drag THAT up for public consumption!–
No matter what they say, or what they believe, you don’t write for them. You don’t speak for them. And obviously right now… I’m speaking entirely to myself, because this is for me.
A reminder to be authentic, screw the yoga poses, and stay true to the mess and the chaos that gets us here in the first place. With a little bit of beauty thrown in because – that’s who we are. That’s what we create.
And because we know really, don’t we –
Being authentic isn’t about sharing hipster quotes like glitter all over your screen-
It’s about staying true to your vision (that, and the difference between telling the world about it and actually living it)
It’s about knowing your deeper purpose
And when you live that out every day
Your authenticity shines right out of you.
No super pretty videos, staged shoots, or meaningless IG quotes required. Well ok maybe a sprinkling because of course! That’s who we are and part of us IS super pretty too and we like to look and feel good in ourselves
For ourselves. And if we can help others do so along the way? By sharing who we are?
Well then, of course.
It’s only natural then that real authenticity comes so easily to us – as it of course does to us all.
So stop thinking you need to edit, filter, hide away, that who you are is somehow not enough or nobody wants to see it or too much.
It’s not that we need bleeding heart.
We just need you.
And what this is really about is a reminder to myself that the only time I feel disconnected
Is when I’m not plugging into the roots of my own soul
Showing up in authenticity to myself
Burying what I really feel, swallowing it down and whole and choking on it because it’s better to be seen and not heard, isn’t it? Isn’t that where this comes from??
Let her pour out of you
Let the world see your broken bits and your thoughts even the ones you think are insane or on another planet and they just wouldn’t understand
Because what the world needs is not more pretty websites
But more people who give a shiz about others enough to share their mistakes and lessons enough for others to learn from them, grow, heal, change, transform.
How interesting- this post originally started out as a post I wanted to write for my daughters, and that there is one of the key things I would want them to know.
I was going to share a yoga pic with this post, but this is so much more appropriate. This is no makeup except half an eyebrow remaining from when I did them at 7am, and some very tired eyes as it’s 11.30pm now and I’m writing and creating while the kids are in bed because reality is they were pulling at my clothes all day and I had no childcare so… this is reality.
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