At some point, maybe now, you’re going to have to push through the darkness.
And it’s going to be screwed up, messy, and tangled.
A permanent scream will blaze inside of you, barbed with tears and confusion.
But without the darkness you don’t ever get to see what’s on the other side
They say that in couples who don’t argue, one person is always suppressing their true selves
One day they will erupt or self destruct
And this is about arguing with yourself
Stop suppressing that side of you that needs to come out
Stop beating her down
Because you’re afraid of the ashes after the eruption
Stop second guessing yourself, hesitating, alll of the time wondering if there might be something better or a different way or whether it would be easier
It’s not about doing the ‘right’ thing when the only thing that can be done that is right is not to stay resolute and firm in the expectations of others
Your duty is to speak up
To do things differently
To realise it doesn’t have to be the way it is for them, for you.
You are not your parents, your spouse, your church, your social circle, your work, your tribe, your industry, your location.
You are you. Beautiful and wonderfully made. Designed to exist alongside your ego, to minimise its impact on your life, to minimise their expectations for you as you become who you really are.
You want things to be different? To be loved, appreciated, upheld, seen, successful in a way all of your own; heard, respected, admired, worthy?
It doesn’t start with them, darling.
Sometimes you need to enter into the darkness to know how bright it is on the other side
And it is more than bright
It FEELS good. It’s HOT, it’s uplifting, it’s empowering, it’s this insane incredible amazing dance and life and way of existing which let’s face it-
You never even believed was really possible for you, did you?
You only ever believed that this current way of existing, this mediocrity was the best you could ever get, because that’s what they told you when they said you’d never be good enough
That’s what they showed you
And you were determined it wouldn’t be like that for you, determined to do it differently from the way they did
But here you are, living the exact same way – because you’re afraid of how good it could really be, so foreign and alien to you
And you’re afraid of messing it all up because society tells us something broken is bad
But what if – it was broken all along?
That your current way of believing you had to exist
IS BROKENNESS and always has been
And to step into everything good
You need to be unafraid of going deeper into the bad and the dark and the upheaval
To connect who you really are with all that you REALLY deserve
Everything might need to burn
Like you knew it always would do one day anyway.
So burn it then
Go into the darkness like they said you would
What they don’t know is
How good it really is, on the other side.
Keep going, phoenix arising, your spirit and soul and intellect and heart are giant, pure, strong.
Stay close to that as you go through the darkness because
The light is coming
And it’s what you dream of.