Her screams vibrated through the apartment.
Wanting something that at that point she could not have.
My husband’s reaction –
Shhh! We will have the neighbours knocking on our door!
But I said – well, let them come then.
But we cannot silence her tears or upset!
Maybe people will say that as conscious parents we are creating entitled children (a whole post in itself).
But I refuse to not allow my children access to her full spectrum of her very human emotions
And to allow her to feel however she needs to-
Over fear of what the neighbours might say /
fears of what people might think /
other peoples fears that we are creating entitled children.
I told her I was there for her whenever she would like to calm down and have a hug.
After a few minutes she came to me, crawled on to my lap, and explained how she felt and why.
We talked briefly about the problem and then the storm was over.
And what mattered was that my daughter was allowed to be herself
To be who she is
And not be denied her emotion.
Absolutely, many of us feel we live in a world where No is normal, negativity and powerlessness are part of the everyday reality.
But does it have to be?
Is there a way to show our kids that actually, that doesn’t have to be the world that they experience?!
I believe so.
And yes it was hard to sit there and listen to her scream for no apparent reason and refuse to come and eat with us and indeed wonder if at any point we would be seen as ‘those neighbours’.
But to teach her real respect
For not just us and others and this earth – but beginning with respect for herself –
I remember that respect comes from deep love and compassion,
Which comes first when we are taught to live and respect ourselves wholly and not
Any element of who we are.