Not the season this time, although it’s partly that too.
But yesterday as I wrote and released my post
I realised it had taken me a full 7 hours to write and publish it online.
The summer I’m struggling with is not the heat of this island in peak flow, the beautiful scorching season.
It’s my daughter, Summer. Four years old and struggling with oppositional defiant disorder.
It hasn’t been labelled as that as I refuse to take her for official diagnosis, believing that labels can make the problem self-fulfilling.
I cling to that in the times where it feels like the issue couldn’t get much worse.
Today we had Summer screaming for hours and hours at a time.
Screaming that she was hungry, bored, wanted to go shopping for toys, that she wanted to swim. She scratched me, Daddy, her sister, and a complete stranger getting out of the swimming pool for no apparent reason.
She only wants *mummy* to help her and calm her down, which is frequently exhausting and overwhelming for me to be with a child who is screaming full volume for hours on end. I’m unable to concentrate or focus and it’s actually my worst nightmare for an introvert.
Again, I turned to Dr Google. And again, I was reminded of her need for consistency, for patience.
And for Summer, for my child- I know she needs immersion into nature
She needs wilderness walks and to gather sticks and stones and to make up stories together. Earth babies need their feet in the earth, to feel connected daily.
She needs rhythm and routine and consistency.
And she needs me. She needs focussed me. She needs all of my attention now.
And who can blame her for being this way? In the past month she has stayed in four different locations, with several different sets of people. (Air bnb and the homes of sweet and dear friends are both awesome but not always for children who thrive on routine).
Her school combined with another which meant a brand new location, building, students, teachers, and hours. And for various reasons her home life has been incredibly stressful for her too.
No wonder she cries and lashes out for no apparent reason. No wonder she has cried to go back to our house so often.
And now we have. We came back to beautiful La Dolce Vita last night and the house flooded my heart with light.
And I come to the realisation that
My daughter really needs me right now.
All of me.
I need to give my daily focus entirely to her. Not split between work or even my marriage or anything else.
She needs it all. She deserves it all.
She needs nature walks and morning swims and me putting her down to sleep in the daytime telling her stories.
She needs picnics and a proper diet and to know she has my entire attention.
This is difficult for me. I’m a classic multi tasker. Switch off days are Sundays. I work every morning.
To change that routine which has sustained me for the past few years feels scary, a leap into the unknown. But also, strangely for someone so driven by creating a purposeful business – an exciting one.
After all it’s what the Work Less Revolution movement was designed for – the ability to be able to spend time with my children. As I choose, not how the business chooses.
From autumn, I will be homeschooling Summer. In fact we have always been homeschooling.
Simply because it’s where and how I believe she will thrive. It’s where she will have what she needs.
We have found a home, a beautiful home, that will give Summer everything she needs. Will give all of us what we need. A huge indoor / outdoor space that will be perfect for a separate homeschool space. Its own little patch of woodland where the girls can wander. A tiny chapel, which I felt gave peace to the entire place.
Another place too.
For so long- since January in fact- I dreamed of a little online place where I could share my journey to the centre of motherhood. I didn’t want to bring it into the work less revolution, as it didn’t seem to fit entirely.
Just a little place not for work or for earning or even for dreaming or creativity – just a little place where I could share my somewhat alternative views on parenting and being a mama.
I created her back in January though the idea was brewing perhaps for years before. I’ve written books and posts on hypnobirthing, raising vegetarian kids, Waldorf education and homeschooling, breech babies and difficult babies and sound healing and many other things all linked to raising crystal and rainbow and indigo babies.
They’ve been based on my experience. I’m not an expert parent, just one sharing stories of conscious and attachment and alternative parenting strategies while living this wild life, stories that didn’t always wholly fit with creating a wilder business, a more intuitive and confident you.
Although really – it’s all the same. How you parent is how you do life and vice versa.
I’ve been receiving little signs for a while now this is the right thing to do, not least of all from my daughter. But also with the complete ease in which quietly I’ve cultivated a new little space online, full of other likeminded mamas-
A Facebook following of over 2000, despite barely ever posting, a Pinterest following of almost 5000, fb group posts with over 90 likes and comments, fb page posts with over 3k views and shares.
All of this at a time when everyone is saying results are down and dropping… like every market is overcrowded you just have to know your audience. You have to feel them, to BE them.
And so I’m going to be sharing more of my unconventional parenting journey. Of Summer, of struggles, of being a mama untamed and living an unconventional life and of our Steiner / homeschool experiences and raising defiant kids.
And another thing is being birthed too. Because of course, I don’t do things by halves I’m feeling a real call back to photography. Back to my roots.
Perhaps it’s because this is where this all began, and things feel like they are coming full circle. I’ve got a strong vision and calling to collaborate with the artists and the dreamers on something beautiful… two things actually. But these will remain quiet for now. Maybe they’ll stay as dreams in my head.
It’s not like I don’t have enough to concentrate on alongside my coaching and writing and course launches and my copywriting agency and all of the other 10001 things I want to create!!
But I have a feeling they will birth exactly in the way that they are meant to.
For now as the summer breeze floats through our villa, through la Dolce Vita
I’m happy for once to not control it. To let it take me to wherever it desires. To surrender, to release, to receive the inspiration currently flowing.
To days spent writing stories, to moments spent strolling around the orchard picking figs, to watching the swallows diving in and out of the pool, to focussing attention on where it is needed most.
Nurturing, tending, preparing the littlest roots. Because sometimes that’s all that matters.
Due to well, Summer, Write Your Sacred Story is launching this coming Wednesday! For you if you dream of writing your wild soul, unblocking the writer within, want to know how to spellbind your audience with your blogs and newsletters, go further into your truth and deepen your authentic voice-