I sat down to write this morning and.. NOTHING CAME OUT. Dry as a bone.
How do you know what to write about when nothing is coming out and nothing is flowing?? How do you know what to create when the well runs empty?
What about when you give yourself that precious time needed to create and write or photo or journal and NOTHING comes out, nothing shows up
Yet when you’re at your busiest and / or about to crash into your pillow at the end of a long day well of course THEN out tumbles the next crystalline, the idea for the book / launch / business / treatment / canvas?
What about when you feel empty and depleted, despite having taking care of yourself in every single way possible, from the organic raw food / inspiring location / inspiring book / audio you just consumed / the mindset exercises and the meditation you just listened to?
Because where is she?! The muse has apparently left the entire city, not just the building!!
You were not made to feel empty inside, to wander and roam in the plains of emptiness and non-productivity!
You were made as a waterfall is made, tumbling and forever changing and mighty and overflowing, swollen with stories of all you have seen on your journey-
And so you sit, and even when I feel I have nothing to say, like today when the heat is full and there is no moon or retrograde to speak of, the noisy finches are slumbering in the stretches of the morning and my daughter went to school peacefully today-
Well then, you write about nothingness. And you begin with nothingness and then you start with description and you write when you have nothing to say even when you write about nothing and you write or paint or sing regardless of whether the muse decides to show up or not.
Some days my muse is a darker Aphrodite (although actually, the Goddess was somewhat darker than most of us would assume about the Goddess of Love and actually her Love involved some serious rage and some seriously wild affairs)! and this darker Aphrodite is alive and whispering in my ear in her slightly manic burning glory
Sometimes though, she is away and nothingness fills her space.
But I create regardless
You write regardless
And so what if it’s so terrible? That what comes out is a trickle or a boring deluge of empty pointlessness? You don’t do it for them anyway, do you
This has never been about what they need, has it?
It’s always been about you, since the notebooks you kept as a child, since the times you used to stare out of the classroom window at the clouds, daydreaming about anything other than what you were supposed to be thinking about, since the little stories you would scribble away at –
Never for anybody else, was it?
Ego tells you – but somebody must read! I must be a bestseller! and you feel crushed by the abandonment of social media on the odd occasion
But really – the sting so small you barely notice and it floats away like those clouds do, so tomorrow you will get up and you will do it all over again, day after day because you can’t not.
Writer, healer, dreamer, creator, artist, photographer, singer/ songwriter, musician playing the songs of their soul
Success is a habit they say, so make it one then- honour what you came here for –
Your gifts, callings, honour them creative priestess!!! and nurture them daily and don’t dare to believe for one minute-
Foolish, arrogant me!
Like the muse should show up whenever you feel like it
Like you could ever control it. Like the gift of inspiration is at your beck and call?!
But of course you could coax it over, nurture it, build the relationship
But how naively we expect them to do our bidding when we not only fail to show up or even nurture the muse but ever really fully BELIEVE in her-
Let alone honour her enough to show up for her every single day
And we wonder why the words don’t come or flow!?
Why our creativity – our fun even! – feels blocked, stagnant, like we feel so far away from what feels good to us again?
Connection begins with her
She holds the keys to your inner soul
NOT stumbling about hoping for some sort of magical inspiration to emerge from our to-do list! or on our screens or even – IN THE MONEY!
So connect then, cultivate, create
Even when she fails to arrive- she’s just teasing like she always does, and sooner or later she will arrive and before you know it you’ll be in full flow, full fire, spirits entwining
So write about your nothingness and your emptiness
Write about the heaviness and stillness of the summer air
Write about your frustrations and fears and the furry cat that just jumped on to the kitchen tiles next to you and how the bell around her neck jingled and how you wondered how cats deal with the heat under all of that black and brown fur-
Just write as if it’s what you depend on because after all –
Haven’t you always? Depended on this?
The thing that heals you, nurtures you, soothes your soul, the honey-balm gift from the otherworlds?
And how entirely selfish of you to dare bemoan ‘nothing is coming out’
Haven’t even tried, not really. Half heart.
So if not now- when then?
When ARE you going to finish the book, the album, show up for your dream?
Your muse is leaving because she tires of your inconsistency, your failure to commit your failure to ADORE her like she entirely deserves –
You SAY it’s all about the art, but is it really?
Full love, full appreciation
When is it you’re going to fall ENTIRELY in love and commit to the gift of your wild soul?
You’re made of sharpness and steel and leather and silk and your entire greatness depends on you-
Releasing the gift
To eradicate the perpetual tinges of emptiness that permeate the edges of your being
So write regardless of whether she arrives beside you
Or whether she leaves you empty and haunted with the thoughts of all you might yet become
Because there within you’ll find what you desire.