Writing A Book, The Process + Your Biggest Dream
We skirt around the edges of our biggest and wildest dreams.
And for the bold and brave and multi passionate the truth is others stand and look at what you’ve created in awe
How does she do it
How does she manage the juggle of business and babies and still get it all done?
How does she manage to keep going despite X?
And the reason we are able to seemingly do so much is because we are simply often avoiding the one core thing we truly desire. A different form of procrastination.
I desire the book that I’m writing right now. As someone whose brain seems to never sleep there always seems to be a book I’m writing right now- I’m half way through three–
and my children’s book is being painstakingly painted –
But this one is different.
I can feel it hard and fast and all at once flowing to me and I’ve been resisting
Because of course that one thing we really want
Is the thing we are so afraid of.
So it sits and we feel its weight upon us and still we resist
Busy ourselves in everything but the one
The one that has never left us since childhood.
And we flourish and achieve and we fall down and do it all over again because everything else? Comes easily to us, like rising up within our 9-5’s or entrepreneurship or our latest program or yoga or whatever it is that runs like a waterfall to us and through us
When the one thing we want to do is throw ourselves over the edge and into what we truly want.
So recently I’ve decided – if I want to really achieve my true dream of publication or being known for my writing – the thing it’s always been about for me –
I need to stop messing around
Dive in deep
And trust in the process.
And so I’ve stripped back my coaching practice
Even stripped back on my social media
To give myself the space I needed to write
I hired a publicist and a photographer
To open up every chance of success and to reflect the beliefs I have that this book simply will become what it is designed to be
I decided to dive into the dream of what I really wanted. To explore it.
And sometimes the weight remains
The few people I’ve told love the idea and the foundation of the book
But that brings the weight of expectation and the pressure of not good enough
And you might not be
I might not be
But if we don’t try
How will we know?
And it feels like the time I walked to the top of the mountains in Poland and saw the world at my feet and eternity stretching before me and I knew I was losing part of myself in the climb but also the exhilaration of possibility had just opened up not just before me but into me – I literally felt the energy flowing through me;
Your dream needs you to choose it, now.
To dive into it.
So it can dive into you.
And as for the How –
Realise that your dream is a gift.
And you need to open it in small portions at a time, daily.
I’m spending thirty minutes a day writing my book. Which for me is unheard of. I’m all or nothing. I’ve launched two new projects and businesses this week. My copywriting agency and my site about returning to your Wild after becoming a mother. Everyone thinks I’m insane to launch two projects in one week.
I’ve also created a five day abundance training for my freedom sister and started work on a publicity project with two of my incredible clients. All in.
Always all in or all out.
Maybe all in, all out is the sacred calling of our soul to water the seeds of our dream. That by going full tilt into something head first we are actively refusing the space and time our dream needs to grow and breathe and become. We resist. Until we stop resisting and allow
Little by little
No full in or out no longer needed – it steadily to grow.
‘from the angels I learned write a page a day and in a year you’ll have a book’
– Doreen Virtue
And so I’m writing. Steadily. At night even everyone else is asleep. I begin somewhere between eleven and finish around midnight. I’m a night writer. Sometimes in torrents the words will flow. Sometimes I struggle to write at all. But I do. I always write something even if it feels nothing is coming and the muse and the angels don’t exist or care about my book whatsoever and I’m drowning in my own resistance.
Still, I write.
I rejoined the Beautiful Writers group which I discovered through Danielle LaPorte. It’s a beautiful, sacred and upholding space. I left the first time I joined. Avoiding my core desire. And I returned. I read the messages in the group and my heart races with all of us writer types in there together.
And I’ve been reading Natalie Goldberg again. I made a choice recently to stop reading books about marketing and business. I needed watering. My creativity needed to become rooted in something other than funnels and Facebook.
So at night I sit and I write on the little orange glow of my phone. It’s not at a beautiful perfect space or even in one of my many beautiful notebooks.
It’s just time I’ve created to sit and to write imperfectly.
Time to follow the dream.